Thursday, 19 July 2012

Getting conned in Khan el Khalili

I am almost going to swear to myself that I will NEVER go to any touristy areas in Egypt again - Luxor, Aswan, Khan el Khalili - all places that drive me crazy! I think I'll stick to Shubra from now on.

Yesterday I went with my sister and cousin to Sidna el Hussein/Khan el Khalili/El Mosky. I wanted to show my cousin a famous cafe called El Fishawi, but I had a feeling we wouldn't be enjoying our time there.

I swear not a single sentence was exchanged between the three of us during our entire time at the cafe. Instead we were shooing and heshing the salespeople and beggars that came at us from every angle. Not 5 seconds (no exaggeration!) went by without someone approaching us.

I took to keeping my head down, as if in some sort of hallucinatory trance. My little sister, was still not used to assertively telling the salespeople and beggars to 'TAKE A HIKE!!!' Instead, she gave them her beautiful smile and said in the kindest voice she could possible muster, 'La, shukran' (no, thank you).

I felt it was safe to lift my head out of my trance for a little while, just to survey the situation, when I found my sister looking at a set of 'genuine silver bracelets and earrings'.

'It's genuine, it's genuine', the salesperson (who looked like he'd just recently been released from jail) assured us. 'Look...', he then took it upon himself to set fire to the jewellery with his lighter, in an attempt to show us that the colour didn't disappear. He then kindly wrapped the bracelet around my sister's wrist, causing her much discomfort from the burning heat, radiating from the bracelet.

The starting price was 80LE. It then went down to 50LE. We said we didn't want it. Then, things turned nasty.

'Where are the earrings?' he said.
'They're in your hands', we replied.
'No, no the other pair'.

We proceeded to search under the tables and chairs for the missing earrings. Something told me that he was setting us up but I went along with the act anyway.

When we didn't find the earrings he tried even harder to sell Yvonne the bracelet, blaming her for losing his precious merchandise. I couldn't take it any longer so I screamed at Yvonne, 'YVONNE SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!'

This got the entire cafe staff to crowd round us. The salesman was shouting that he wanted to take us to the police station. I didn't quite understand what was happening, but I knew we had to leave. The cafe staff were crowding round the salesman, and we slipped out from another entrance.

After buying a few souvenirs and gifts in the bazaars, it was time to go home. Our legs were as heavy as lead, and we could hardly bare to stay on our feet a moment longer. Unfortunately for us, not a single minibus had an empty seat.

After 10 minutes we heard a fight in one minibus, between the driver and a female passenger.

'Get out then!' the driver yelled.

'Yes, this is our chance!' I thought to myself. But we were too slow. A man jumped into one of the two vacated seats. But I didn't give up.

I jumped onto the minibus and sat on the only vacated seat. My sister jumped on after me and sat on my lap. Then my cousin sat on my sister's lap. Not a single one of us could be classed as 'child-sized', so this was quite a feat.

Three of us were sitting on a seat meant for one person. We couldn't even shut the minibus door, so as we sped over the bridge that connects El Hussein with the nearest metro station, the door was still open, and we were just waiting for a sharp turn to send us flying out onto the bridge.

Thankfully we made it all in one piece. One woman sitting behind us smiled at me and said, 'They should erect a statue in your honour'. I didn't understand what she meant exactly, but I think it was because I was carrying two almost fully-grown women on my lap, or maybe because I was crazy enough to even attempt such a ridiculous travel arrangement.

Drivers and motorcyclists that drove beside us pointed and laughed at the tower of bodies squashed into the minibus. I think what really shocked them - since this in a common occurrence in Egypt - was that two of the girls looked almost certainly as if they were tourists. Tourists in Egypt never ride minibuses, let alone form human towers in them. I couldn't stop laughing the entire way.

The lack of enforced rules in Egypt completely contrasts with England's strict regulations. But although the lack of enforced rules in Egypt may cause much chaos and confusion, it gives life plenty of flavour.

No comments:

Post a Comment